Self-Publishing: putting your ego aside for the sake of the craft.
Like many of you, I've struggled with the idea of self-publishing. Questions of its validity and the public perception quarreled with every opinion that went through my head. I stayed up late researching publishers, vanities, traditional, and self-pub groups all saying that they are the best option for a writer's career.
In the end, the people who go through different stages of doubt will always say this - "Do what is right for you". But, they can rarely give you an answer. I shouted at my computer more times than psychologists will dub 'normal', asking why they won't just give me an answer. Just tell me what is best and i'd do it! But, there in lies the problem. They don't know me. They don't know my work. My effort. My story. They don't know my personality or what I can, or am willing, to endure.
I went through stages of doing things the traditional way.
First: I tried submitting to Literary Agents. I got some positive replies, some negative, but the vast majority were nothing but a pre-written, standard rejection letter. I kept them piled up and stored in my email and my desk drawer to remind me that rejection always leads to something better. And trust me, they kept coming.
Second: I went directly to publishers. The same responses flooded in with one exception, it took longer and there were much less personal responses.
But, eventually, one came in that was personalized. He was very nice and even dedicated the time to read the entire novel that I sent. This was his response:
"I very much enjoyed your novel. The character's motivations are solid and the world is dark and vivid. The ending was strong. I do apologize, though, that I do not see the commercial viability in the work. With what we publish, we focus on things that have a high market rating, and I believe that this work is too obscure for our printing. Please keep writing. And in the event that you have a draft of something that can be marketed commercially to a wider mass, I believe we can be the right fit for you. Once again, I sincerely apologize for the delay in my response. It is a good novel with promise, just not for us. I would be a customer, but not a representative."
This threw me for a loop. How in the hell can you tell me that you liked the book, it has promise, and that you would personally buy it, but not chance representing it for your imprint?
In reality, it was good news. It gave me more insight into their world. They are people running a business. They want the highest profit possible, and their margins are not great, so they need to be as subjective as possible.
Finally, I took that answer and started asking the right questions.
Do you see this as a valid piece of work?
Do you see people buying?
What genre do you see this being the best and most prominent?
And lastly, if this work is obscure, is there a mass audience that can be targeted?
The answer to all of these brought me toward AMAZON KDP. I shot over my novel to a buddy of mine that works in their editing department. He loved the work. He believed that, with the right targeted marketing, that this novel could find the right niche. Reluctantly, I agreed to have him draw up the digital imprint and let me take a look at the product.
I sat on my decision for weeks. Ok, that's not completely honest. It was two months. He reached out three times during that period asking me if it was something i'd like to do or not, but I couldn't bring myself to pull the trigger. It wasn't what i wanted. It wasn't my dream. I wanted to be in every Barnes & Noble in the country! ...I was living in delusion.
My wife asked me during that time, "Why don't you self publish? I loved the book and I want to see it out there, even if you have to do it yourself."
I'm hesitant to say that I didn't listen to her. Not completely. But, what she did, in her own way, was put me on the fence for the first time. I was still living inside my ego, thinking it was better than that. Very soon, I came to question why I even thought that way. What about me was better than self-publishing? Why did I feel it was beneath me? What about my career even gave me an inkling that I was somehow special in a world where thousands of writers publish books every single day?
The answer? I wasn't. I needed to set my ego aside and realize that, until otherwise validated by my readers and my works, I was nothing more than an aspiring novelist like everyone else. I was a small part of a wonderful, beautiful, and ambitious group dedicated to bringing their work to life in whatever medium would allow them to get their work to the world.
A friend talked to me the following week and told me something that would stick with me. He said that those that take the leap and take their careers into their own hands are some of the most respectable people out there. They risk everything for their dream. And, if I wanted to get my name and my work out there to the world, then I should do it myself instead of waiting for someone else's approval.
Between that and my wife's words pounding in the back of my mind, I pulled the trigger. I called my friend up at Amazon KDP and told him that i'd do it, under the condition that he would assist me in doing it the RIGHT way, not just throwing it up on a sight and praying.
Now, ten days later, THE HOLLOWS is on Amazon for pre-order - publication date set for February 3rd. 2017 and already have double digit sales in a few hours.
I guess my point is this, you never know what you are capable of until you step out of your comfort zone and put your ego behind you. Self-publishing my or may not be for you, but your success is highly dependent on what you can do on your own.
I have the utmost respect, now, for the people who have taken that step and leaped over the fence to the greener side of things. I hope we can do great things together.
-KM Barkley
Author of The Hollows
Find me on Twitter: @writeBarkley
